more eddie

i don't want this blog to become completely overrun with pictures of my dog, but he's still less than a week old (to me) and he's going to get some airtime. without further ado, world, meet the beginning of eddie:

eddie meets nikko and takes over big bone duty

eddie celebrates pride weekend with the prideball

eddie snoozes with his mootoy



cha-cha-changes part deux

oh my lord, eddie is amazing. he's the cutest little dog i've ever known. i'm still in a dream every time i see him sitting at the foot of the bed, and find myself thinking, is he really here? he sits, he's working on lay down, he (hasn't yet) gone bathroom inside (though jack has, spitefully or fearfully), and he's just delicious. he has absolutely no interest in other dogs, it seems he got those rocks off at the shelter and is just chillin being the solo pup for a while. he tolerates bigger pups sniffing at him, but skits behind me when they get too close. he seems a bit intimidated by men, specifically large, dark haired men. not sure the rationale behind it, could have something to do with past experiences or his current homelife, living with 2 mommies. he's a dreamchild. at the moment, he's curled up next to me, under the covers, snoozing, as he's had a long day of vet visits (checked out fine, could stand to gain a few pounds), a bath, a nap, another long walk by d while i was out of the house*, a trip to the grandparent's house, a meeting with nikko, another long walk to the park for free concert, a trip to abby's house for a party, and now home. our first full day together - perfect. i can't believe i haven't had a dog until yesterday. i feel like i'm meant to have dogs.

*out of the house because i was called in to interview at a highly rated 6-8 middle school nearby. the interview went phenomenally well, the AP being the former tech teacher at my school, and having left for many the same reasons i'm trying to leave. i was offered the job on the spot and accepted. arrived home to find an email from the other school, telling me to hold out a few more weeks and the budget will be solidified, and another one this evening telling me that the budget it clear and we can move forward. i've already accepted the job at prep, but it is just so...prestigious. and i'm not one for prestige. nor am i one to run from a challenge. but is it really a worthy challenge to deal with nosy annoying parents who may or may not question my every lesson? i have to find out if she wants me teaching social studies as we'd originally discussed or if it's strictly a tech position, which it is at prep. and i've still not told p. i'm sort of avoiding that. it's wrong to do it by email but i probably will - to avoid the confrontation. i don't need the guilt trip she's going to give me.

in summation:

dog ✓
job ✓
sell car - pending advertisment
buy car - pending sell car
grad app - pending personal statement

and these children that you spit on
as they try to change their worlds
are immune to your consultations
theyre quite aware of what theyre going through




as flip flop season begins, flip flop mindset sets in.

everything is up for negotiation.

in no special order, this week's list of news, changes, and updates:

1. we are getting a dog. tomorrow. eddie is 3, he's a rescue pup who has been living at sean casey's animal rescue shelter since may. he was found on the street in queens and brought to animal control who initially labeled him 'aggressive' and named him frisbee, not necessarily in that order. but if my name was frisbee, i too would find reason to be aggressive. sean casey took him in, and when his vet (who'll become our vet) checked frisbee out, he found that frisbee had pneumonia. he was treated, chipped, neutered, and cleaned up, and is now a happy little guy, who i can't wait to bring home. we decided to call him eddie, short for edison, and his middle name is magellan because i like it. each time i look at him i wish he could tell me his story. we've gone to visit him every day since meeting him last tuesday. he's learned to sit really quickly, and next we're going to work on some other commands. on our first walk to the park today, we met a woman named zinulia (or something like that) and her manchester, reggie. sean casey has frisbee/eddie labeled as chihuahua/manchester mix on his site, but after meeting reggie, i don't think eddie is manchester at all. apparently you can pay $200 and send a nail clipping to some type of doggie dna which will provide you a printout of your dog's exact dna specifics. no thanks.

2. tomorrow is the last day of the 2007-2008 school year. YIPfuckingIEE! i can't believe how fast and slow this year went by. it's been a year of change - that much is certain.

3. i still have not heard back from the lovely school in my neighborhood about whether i will be able to have full time employment in september. the p wrote me an email basically stating, 'i want you, i need you, i fear i'm going to lose you to another school, just give me another day to work this out.' it's been 3. and now i know how those boys felt in high school when i wasn't sure i was interested, but wasn't ready to formally decline their advances. dicked around. yeah - that's how i feel.

4. i'm attending my first nyc dykemarch on saturday. d has no mind for this type of stuff, she got all her pride partying out when she was 19, so i'm working on being ok doing these things with friends. i'll be on the lookout for leo maccool who will be back on this side of the pond for a while.

5. it's time to ditch my jeep. don't get me wrong, i love my jeep. i just can't justify spending $75 to fill up, and then only make it about 150 miles before having to do so again. my gas milege is wack, the thing is only getting harder and harder to sell. and my sense of eco-pride is stomped every time i pass a gas station or see another notch gone down my fuel gauge. it's time to put an end to the madness. i'm looking at a 07 yaris or a late model civic. they're both in high demand and tough to find. car dealerships suck. i'm counting on summertime perseverance and a bit of help from dad (to rattle the sellers) to make this happen. i'm scared of driving a small car but i think the cost benefit speaks for itself.

pix of eddie to come...


scratch that...

perhaps it seems
there may be no dog
after all.

looking haiku

scouring for dogs
is more fun than searching for
jobs all day at work



there is a possibility of a new pup in the near future.

stay tuned.

holding pattern

i'm waiting
and waiting
and growing more and more
surreptitiously paranoid
that my p reads this blog
and knows
that i'm dying
to get out.

i can't do it again next year
be told i'm unfair and racist
be cursed at and have doors slammed in my face, my own doors
be utterly disregarded and completely disrespected
i can't have all of these things happen every day
because the positive things that shine through
are just not enough to make it worth it
at this place



we had the graduation party for the dell kids on wednesday.

it all went very well, and even though h didn't wind up with the other, lazier, lameass intern's computer because his was stolen, he wound up happy and everyone won in the end.

we wound up outfitting h's computer with an s-video card, ganked from an old machine he scavenged in the takeapart room. i also dug up some extra ram for him, so he got 1 gb. he was pretty enthused though i could sense his frustration. i think in the end he understood the reality of the situation, and the other oaf really didn't.

and that's just one of the problems with kids today.

or is it just one of the problems with overcrowded school systems today.

i'm not sure.

maybe both.



{__fill__in__the__blank__}days are not much of a big deal to me.

mother's, father's, birth (except my own), flag, secretaries, even teacher appreciation just doesn't hold much meaning.

every year, in the spring, a slew of responsibilities crawls into my ear and lays a few eggs. first dad's birthday, shortly thereafter followed by mother's day. this sunday will be father's day, and mom's birthday is next thursday. rare is the holiday i bear a gift. though lately my sister has been showing me up, driving me to the consumerist ways of credit guilt alleviation.

what do they need? what do i need? maybe mom would like some flowers, tried, and she left them at my place last month. dad mentioned a bottle of some cheap scotch. while he's in no way on the road to drunksville, i just got him a handle of wild grouse or something in april. if it's half gone by now i'd be very surprised. if i get a shirt he'll wind up returning it. a gift certificate and it'll be the wrong store. is it wrong to give my parents cash for these negligible holidays?

d's dad is supposed to be getting a new grill this year. d wanted originally to build it herself, but having gone through the experience years ago, i cautioned her to buy a pre-built model. my parents balcony is about the size of a dining room table. and their building has a no grill policy.

i like gifts to be useful. nothing offends me more than a gift that sits unused. at least return it for something you want.

i guess growing up in home that likened birthdays to annoying mandatory paydays, i just don't feel the connection to gift giving. this might also be connected to being raised as a jew, but not the type of jew who came to middle school after each night of chanukah with a progressively fancier piece of jewelry to show (yes, i had friends like this). birthdays rolled around in my house and the question was asked, what do you want. and if no answer was given, that's what you got. and as soon as we were old enough, 15 or so, cash sufficed.

so this weekend marks the first time i'm out at my parent's house for many months. they have new paint and a penchant for seafood. perhaps if i foot the dinner bill we'll all be square.

that, and a card ought to do it.



that missing computer was really the final straw

this camel's back is beyond broke, and it shows in my every move at that place.

the tale of laughter today is:

coming in to find no wireless service. the wlan was up, but no ip could be reached.

the server room, known to blow a lot of hot air read 104 on the busted mobile a/c unit.

i put in a ticket, find out they already know, and have intentionally shut us down once we hit 95.

so i let s know we need a new a/c unit - the head custodian is on vacation, lucky guy, and over the next 7 days all networked workstations will lose their dhcp lease and no longer connect to anything.

interesting how this priority is not really a priority.


i'm in a holding pattern of sorts at the moment.

i keep envisioning the morning i can say to s, 'i'm leaving you. i've been offered another position.'

what a holy dream.

much better than the one where i had to loan a certain someone my car and cell phone for somewhere between 2 and 9 days.

it's 96 here, with little sign of cooling.

can't wait to see what melts down tomorrow.



bouts of insomnia

maybe it's the springtime
is the conclusion at which i'm arriving
this past week and a half
when i find myself waking up
and the clock says 1:38
2:14, 3:56, 4:08, 5:15.

a year ago i got a prescription for some roserum and some ambien for bad days
which works as long as you don't eat oily stuff for dinner
but hasn't been working this past week
even though i took a few weeks off from it a few weeks ago because i just didn't need it
clearly it's not working

so with 4% battery remaining
at 2:49am
i try to list
some of the things
which wake me up

1. onset of june and warm weather --> window open --> new sounds
2. loads of rain
3. new fan sounds (though off tonight)
4. change of temperature --> individual blankets instead of shared
5. imperative job change stress
6. amazing interview/budget to be determined, aka 'stress of the unknown'
7. really strange dreams
8. allergies causing bodily congestion
9. back pain
10. indecision about whether to cancel the gym membership for lack of not using it
11. upcoming d residency stress
12. upcoming personal statement due

a fairly inclusive list.

elaboration later.

for now, the battery needs recharging

and so do i.