the drugs like me

around a year ago, i'd spent a month barely sleeping
barely eating
and barely functioning moment to moment.

around a year ago, my anxiety was up
my self confidence down
and my sense of stability was all shook up.

around a year ago, i was searching for friends
searching for myself
and keeping my calendar as full as possible so i didnt have to stop to think.

around a year ago, i started taking lexapro
5mg a day (i know, nbd)
and it slowed my head down and made me feel normal.

and now, a little more than a year later
i feel ready to stop taking it
and every doctor i know says don't do it
but i did it
2 days ago
and so far i feel fine.

drunkdial

i gave up many of the vices we all lay claim to at some point or another
cut out the high school stalker style and traded up for a more living/breathing experience.
cut out the coffee 2 years ago, the cigs about 5, and the boozing about 1.
all of these cuts are fluid, of course.

saving one vice, which until tonight was not thought of as a vice, but must be, now that i consider dropping it, but probably won't -

the magic of overextended awakeness through the onset of ambien.

if only life were as trippy and simple and ADD clarity driven as when we are all hopped up on this magical sleep aid.

and i pine for the day they go generic, so i no longer have to shell out 40 bucks for a months supply.

goodweebles
goodnight