is this really bad?

i think kids suck. i think the idea of having kids sucks. i think the idea of raising them and dealing with them sucks. this i feel personally, in regards to my own life, and luckily for me, d agrees, though we have discussed briefly adopting a pre-teen or teenager at some point when we're old, financially well-off, and/or actually into dealing with a kid outside of our jobs. while it's inevitable that we'll someday be old, it's unlikely that we'll ever be financially well-to-do, being teachers and all, we've conceded to be terminally somewhere between meager and comfortable.

the part that i think might be really bad is my overt judgment of people who choose to procreate. based on solid statistical data, which i should link, but don't feel like digging up right now, and may insert later, and can probably provide a list if you want, the world population is growing so fucking rapidly that by 2050 there will be 9 fucking billion people in the world. can we just consider the issues we're having with the 6.5 billion that are already here? energy needs, food supply, basic survival requirements, and fucking space! hello? why would we want to cram MORE people into urban areas? why do we want to create more of a burden on the ecosystem of the earth? why do we want to deplete even more natural resources? why do we want to pump money into corporations that exist to clothe, feed and educate humans? and when i ask we, i am asking the global population. i understand that some people don't look at making a baby as a burden on the global ecosystem or global economy. i consider it though.

ok, so the part that burns me, the part that makes me an evil cruel person who is going straight to hell when i die, is the part that does not understand, agree with, or respect people's choice to have fertility treatments when they could adopt. it's like nature saying, hello, your ovaries are busted, your sperms don't swim, how bout taking this kid, his parent don't want him. i know, adoption is really, really hard. i know, it's a dirty process filled with money exchange, extortion, kidnapping, reluctant mothers, foreign crookedness. something needs to change with that process. i hear so often about homeless kids, kids in foster homes, wards of the state, orphans, abused children, abandoned children, children living in conditions that go beyond squalor, this, that. why can't the process for getting these kids into safe, loving homes be easier, partially because, well, they're a kid who needs a loving home, and partially because why should a family have to mortgage their home to get a petri dish embryo implanted in a uterus which may or may not take, and may or may not result in the mother giving birth to quadruplets which they may or may not want or be able to afford? yes, everything comes back to money (thanks dad).

i understand the desire to create blood children. but i don't understand fighting the signs. i understand the advancement of medical technology. i don't understand the justification of the cost compared with the desire to nurture a child. why is a needy child not as good as one that does not exist yet?

i am biased - i have absolutely no desire to push a child out from my loins (omg i said loins, ew). but ugg, why can't people take responsibility for this planet! there are so many ways to do it, this is only one.

and why does this make me so mad? i must be like passionate about it or something.


ps: if there is anyone who reads who has adopted, or knows people who have adopted, thank you, and thank them. they deserve it because they've done something selfless, helpful, and amazingly beautiful.

update: i do recognize that not everybody's worldview is as grim as mine, and i do understand the inherent nature of humans to maintain, continue (and hopefully advance) the species. i appreciate the thought that future generations may contribute towards solving our global crises, as our knowledge base grows deeper, our technology stronger and more advanced, and our capability of global cleanup grows and becomes more essential to survival of the species. perhaps there is a critical mass which needs to be reached before a turnaround in our collective thinking takes place. the 'go green' phenomenon is definitely catching on, but is it enough in its infant phases? that's a post for a whole other time.

i also realize that i label myself as a huge contradiction, claiming i have no interest in children, yet spending my days teaching them. to clarify, i have absolutely no interest in raising them. educating them, preparing them to exist as highly functioning, productive members of society, is another story. i guess somehow i feel this is my role in global overhaul. for now at least.


dp said...

just to be clear, i don't hate babies, I LOVE THEM!!!! i just don't want any.

appple said...

that's ok, i guess i hate them enough for both of us.

dp said...

well, i guess i just don't think they suck as much as you think they do.

Leo MacCool said...

ha, you sound a lot like my girlfriend. maybe since you see the reality of kids as complicated, difficult real people, you're not as vulnerable to the misty allure of exalted maternity. i basically agree with you on adoption vs. fertility treatments, though i admit i'm willing to give lesbian couples who just need a little sperm-assistance a pass.